Marian and I met at graduate school in Connecticut in 1987. We met at a party before classes started, discovered we were neighbors and resolved to start our days jogging together in our neighborhood. Which we did at least two mornings a week for those two years. There was one dog who often barked at us. Marian would stop and say sincerely and forcefully, “Good dog,” to it. It would stop barking, we would smile at each other and continue jogging. Once in a while she would stop and say in wonder, ”Look at that beautiful house. Was that there yesterday?” and we both marveled that we had not noticed it before. Another favorite – Marian pointing to a patch of grass and saying, “Look at that flat grass. That must be where the elephants slept last night!” Any bird sightings were auspicious signs for the day ahead. Graduate school was very challenging for both of us and we held firmly to those auspicious signs! Once we saw a swan in flight! Very very auspicious, we agreed. We also agreed that our jogs are what got us successfully to graduation.
After graduation, I moved to Rhode Island, where I still live. Marian invited me to accompany her on her drive west to New Mexico, which I did. In the years following that trip, we stayed in touch by mail and phone, visiting each other three more times. For the past 10 years or so we talked monthly, then more often in recent months. We shared our joys and talked over our worries. I always felt heard, understood, and uplifted after our conversations. Marian was so respectful to all, and so grateful for her life – her family, friends, prayer group, church. She always made me feel like a very special person who gives very valuable advice. She was the special one.
During our cross-country drive to New Mexico back in 1989, we listened over and over again to the Van Morrison cassette tape “Tupelo Honey.” We just loved that album. And the title track will always remind me of Marian, the most genuine, positive, and naturally sweet person I have ever known. The beautiful flute line and the refrain:
Because she's as sweet as tupelo honey, yes she is
She's an angel of the first degree (She's an angel)
Oh, she's as sweet as tupelo honey
Just like honey, baby, from the bee (She's an angel)
Marty Ryan